What should you do in the event of a death?

Before the situation overwhelms you, take a moment to calm down. Take the time to say a proper goodbye to the deceased before the body is transferred. Are there any other relatives or friends who haven’t yet had the chance to say goodbye in person? Saying goodbye – whether in a care home or hospital, at an open or closed coffin at the cemetery or in our farewell room in Olten – is an important step in the early stages of the grieving process. Please speak to us about this. Together, we will find a suitable and dignified setting to meet your needs. Depending on the situation, a number of organisational matters will also need to be dealt with promptly following a death. A death can sometimes take us completely by surprise. During this difficult time, it is helpful to involve family or close friends, accept support and, where possible, share the tasks that need to be done. Not everything has to be dealt with immediately. To ensure that nothing important is overlooked, we have compiled the key points for you. On request, we are happy to take care of all the necessary tasks or just individual steps on your behalf.

• Call your doctor or local emergency services on 144, Describe the situation and follow instructions.
• Arrange the transfer with the undertaker at 062 296 83 83 (24-hour emergency service).
• Submit the original medical death certificate to the responsible civil registry office within 48 hours. If you are unable to do so, please notify them of the delay by email or telephone. With a letter of authorisation, the funeral director can also handle this on your behalf. The civil registry office will issue you with an official death certificate, which you will need for cancelling services (bank, insurance companies, etc.). If available, you may also wish to bring the family record book.
• Notify the deceased’s local authority (registry office) of the death immediately and arrange an appointment.

• Call the police on 117, the international emergency number 112 or the emergency medical service on 144.
• In the event of an assisted suicide through EXIT, please notify the police and the funeral director in advance.
• In unusual cases of death, the cantonal police will report the death to the relevant registry office as soon as the deceased has been released by the public prosecutor. You can order the official death certificate by telephone or pick it up in person from the registry office. Please bring your family record book with you, if you have one.
• Contact the deceased’s municipality (registry office) and arrange an appointment.
• Arrange for the deceased to be transferred to the cemetery or a crematorium through a funeral service. If the next of kin have not yet been informed of the death, the police will call in an on-call funeral director. However, you have the option of instructing a funeral director of your choice to handle the remaining tasks, including preparation for burial, laying out the body, and organising the funeral arrangements.
• Notify the deceased person’s accident or life insurance provider.

• The nursing staff will notify the doctor, and the care home will usually forward the original medical certificate of death to the responsible civil registry office. As a relative, you can contact the civil registry office (Zivilstandesamt) to request the official death certificate by post or collect it in person.

• Family, friends, neighbours.
• The employer, both your own and the one of the deceased.
• Care, Spitex
• Cancel the deceased’s upcoming appointments.
• The AHV is notified by the registry office (Zivilstandesamt)
• Pension fund, vested benefits accounts, Pillar 3a, life insurance.

• Looking after pets.
• Tidy the house, clear out the fridge, empty the letterbox.

• The funeral office in the deceased person’s municipality of residence will inform you about the inventory and further procedures with the probate office.
• Ensure that any end-of-life arrangements or a will are in place and hand them over to the funeral home.
• Submit the medical certificate of death or official death certificate (copy), if already available, to the funeral office.

• Have bank accounts frozen with retroactive effect from the date of death.
• Tenancy agreement: please inform the management immediately.
• Health insurance and complementary insurances.
• Accident insurance, life insurance
• Telecom provider
• Other Insurances
• Have your social media accounts deactivated and deleted.
• Have the email accounts closed.
• Newspapers
• Other subscriptions, customer accounts, etc.

The funeral marks a significant step in the grieving process, but the journey of saying goodbye continues. You are faced with the challenge of coping with the void left by the person who has passed away. Grief means gradually coming to terms with this new reality. That takes time. In the days that follow, practical questions often arise: what to do with the deceased’s personal belongings – keep them or sort them out? Sending thank-you cards, going back to work? Trust your inner voice; it will show you when the time is right for such decisions. The same applies to your social life: if it does you good to be among people again, accept invitations. If you need peace and quiet, withdraw from your social circle for a while. If your grief is becoming too much to bear, do not hesitate to seek help – whether from a counsellor, a bereavement support group or through psychological counselling. Grief is a perfectly normal emotion. Experience shows that the initial pain eventually subsides. A healthy grieving process enables healing, acceptance of the loss and, ultimately, an openness to new perspectives on life. You will manage this too. You have already achieved a great deal in life, but grief is an exceptional situation. In grief, you get to know yourself anew. Everything around you becomes meaningless. When a loved one dies, a part of you dies with them. Face your grief head-on; running away achieves nothing. It will find you wherever you go. Give your grief time and space. Do whatever does you good. Look at old photos, throw yourself into work or go for walks in nature. Crying does you good. Tears held back flow inwards; you can drown in them. Grief is exhausting and saps your strength. And it can make you feel lonely, because those who have never experienced grief have no idea of its power. Grief can bring about strange and conflicting feelings. At first, the priority is simply to survive. Don’t let yourself be pressured, neither by those around you nor, above all, by yourself.

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s five-stage model of grief describes typical reactions to the loss or death of a loved one. The stages – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance – do not necessarily have to be experienced in strict sequence, and everyone experiences them differently. They serve to help process the pain and gradually come to terms with the reality of the loss. Furthermore, this model has been expanded by other authors to include additional aspects such as disorganisation, feelings of guilt or anxiety, which may also form part of an individual’s grieving process.

Die Phase des Leugnens ist nach Elisabeth Kübler-Ross die erste Reaktion auf eine erschütternde Diagnose oder einen schmerzlichen Verlust. In dieser Phase wirkt das Geschehen oft unwirklich. Betroffene denken oder sagen zum Beispiel: „Das kann nicht sein“ oder „Es muss sich um einen Irrtum handeln.“ Das Leugnen ist dabei kein Zeichen von Gefühllosigkeit, sondern ein natürlicher Schutzmechanismus der Seele. Es hilft, die überwältigende Realität zunächst auf Abstand zu halten und schrittweise zu begreifen. Diese Phase kann unterschiedlich lange andauern. Manche Menschen verharren nur kurz darin, andere benötigen mehr Zeit. Mit zunehmender innerer Auseinandersetzung beginnt sich die Wirklichkeit behutsam zu zeigen – und der Trauerprozess geht in die nächste Phase über.

“Why me of all people?” – “Why my husband, my wife or my child?” Questions like these often arise during the anger phase. Many mourners experience an intense sense of inner outrage. It is not uncommon for blame to be directed at the doctors involved: Why couldn’t my loved one be saved? Depending on the nature of the death – for example, due to an accident, an assassination, a serious illness or in war – this anger may also be directed at higher powers, at God or at others responsible. Anger is not an inappropriate emotion in grief, but a powerful reaction to the loss suffered. It can help to overcome feelings of powerlessness and gradually process the pain. However, if it is suppressed for too long, it can manifest as depression or persistent bitterness. That is why it is important to express anger in a healthy way – by talking to people you trust, through writing, through physical activity such as walks or sport, or even through simple outlets such as punching a pillow. Feelings are allowed to be there and need a space in which they can be released. Feelings of guilt (addition) ‘Why didn’t I...?’ or “If only I had…” are agonising questions and self-reproaches that people often ask themselves after losing a loved one. Behind the inability to come to terms with death often lies, among other things, the desire to have another chance with that loved one. Sometimes, however, it is easier to blame oneself than to accept that death is a part of life. In specific cases, such as a car accident, it is of course true that a bereaved person may be to blame for the death of a loved one. Under such circumstances, it can take a very long time to come to terms with oneself. Try to examine your sense of guilt and distinguish between genuine guilt and false guilt. Talking to family, friends and acquaintances, and perhaps with counsellors, can help you understand and process these feelings. Disorganisation (additional note). Once the initial shock of the loss has subsided somewhat, many people are overwhelmed by a multitude of intense feelings: fear, denial, doubt, perhaps also relief, anger and deep sadness. Anyone who tries to analyse every single emotion immediately may quickly feel overwhelmed. You should therefore seek to talk to family members, friends or acquaintances and, if necessary, seek professional support. Through discussion, feelings can be better understood and processed step by step.

During this phase, those affected try, deep down, to avert the inevitable. They ‘negotiate’ – often with God, fate, life itself or a higher power. Typical thoughts might include: ‘If you make him well, I’ll be a better person.’ ‘Please let this all be a mistake – I promise I’ll change.’ “If I’d prayed more, perhaps it wouldn’t have happened.” “If only I’d acted sooner, everything would have turned out differently.” This is an attempt to regain control. The person is searching for a way out of their powerlessness. This bargaining serves an important function: it creates hope in the short term. It alleviates the feeling of complete helplessness. It gives the events a semblance of meaning. It provides a kind of emotional “breathing space” before the full reality of the loss sinks in. Whether religious or not – even non-believers “negotiate” internally, for instance with fate or with themselves. Is this phase normal? Could you please explain this better? Yes. Kübler-Ross understood this phase as a normal part of the grieving process. It is not a sign of weakness or a loss of touch with reality, but an expression of the deep bond with the person who has been lost and the need to want to undo what has happened.